You recognised that a lie is “meant to deceive or distort reality in order to put yourself or another in a better light or avoid conflict”, and for our purposes this is an adequate definition, yet you neglected mentioning how communication from one individual to the next may use a seemingly simple and literal sentence yet the interpretation of said sentence means something completely different; hence a lie, or a defensive deflection from the truth, can be constructed by representing a reality that is either so general the person speaking may as well have said “no comment”, or the reality offered is entirely truthful, but given in such a way that its specifics are intended to be generalised, creating a false impression.

For example, using your example, when someone asks whether you like your job, and you respond, “It’s paying my bills, but I’m looking for something I can be more passionate about”, you have in fact answered nothing. You’ve given away no detail and have provided an answer that most working people would give. I’ve no idea if you’d be considering a career change or if you want a different assignment of some sort. If you don’t open yourself to others, the likelihood is you do not open significantly to yourself.

Another example is if asked the same question and you respond the same but also with a truthful anecdote about an event, say about something amusing. Here you are sharing specific details yet simultaneously creating the falsehood that your employment is generally quite amusing. This serves only as a distraction from your true opinions about your job.

Yet is this not perhaps, in a small way, necessary? If we let our true emotions govern us then we are nought but impulsive reactionists. If humankind’s true essence is as Hobbes claims then we are entirely self serving & brutish and will never be content until we lead a workless life of luxury & excess.
Is it not that “good form” or “a stiff upper lip” can strengthen us through difficult hardships and lead us onto greater victories than if we simply caved into our emotions and walked away? Is a stronger marriage that which has survived hardship or that which is nostalgic & rose tinted? Is a worker more proud of his product that he didn’t break into a sweat for or that which he worked until he “bled from the blisters” to accomplish?

Although letting your hair down (and trust me, my hair is always down) is exceedingly healthy, so too is tying your hair back and tackling a difficult obstacle healthy for the spirit. Sometimes keeping good form can work to your benefit for, although you may be denying your feelings to yourself, these feelings may actually be hiding your reason from yourself. While it may be true that if you keep telling others you’re “OK” you will come to believe this and keep unhappily ‘plodding on’, it is also true that if you share your present sentiments as fact often enough you will come to believe them as what you truly feel.
Only time will tell what the correct discourse is, but only the self-reflective, critical, individual may reason what they believe their best discourse may be; my suggestion is that maybe this ought to be done without inviting the assuming advice & interference of others whose “knowledge” is based on your immediate, desperate passion.